Christmas Kisses Page 5

  Holly’s body fits perfectly against mine. Her breasts press firmly against my chest and I know she can feel how much I want her. It’s impossible to hide. I tilt my hips and press into her and she reacts. I didn’t expect it, but she does. Holly slips her leg up against mine, and I grab the top of her thigh and press against her. She moans in mouth and I can’t stand it. Her scent fills my head as her hands tangle in my hair. She pulls and I grip her thigh harder, slipping my hand over the garter straps and feeling the curve of her ass. When she tilts her hips up, I feel her little bottom brush against my leg. The heat between her thighs is incredible.

  I realize what’s happening and where we are. Breaking the kiss, I trail my lips down her neck and she throws her head back, gasping. Her nails dig into my arms. If I’m going to be with Holly, it’s not going to be a quickie in an elevator. I want to worship her body for hours, I want to see her face when she climaxes and screams my name. That’s the only reason why I can pull my lips off her hot neck. I slip my arms under her and lift. She gasps and leans against my chest. I press a kiss to her cheek.

  I move to the elevator doors and press the button. As it opens she looks up at me with swollen lips. I say, “I’ve wanted you for so long. We’re doing this the right way.” The door opens and I carry her back to my room. After kicking the door shut with my foot, I lay Holly on my bed and look down at her.

  She’s said nothing since we started kissing. I worry about her. I don’t want her to regret this. “Are you sure?”

  She nods, her eyes never leaving mine. Those big brown eyes are dark and filled with lust. She speaks and her voice is breathy and light, “Yes. I want to be with you.”

  I sit next to her on the edge of the bed and run my hand up her thigh. I stop at the hem of her dress, dying to take it off of her, but still wanting more confirmation from her first. “You might right now, but what about tomorrow?”

  She smiles softly. It makes her face glow. I can’t look away. My hand is suddenly warmer as she places her hand over mine. She slips it under her dress, pushing my palm further up her thigh. She parts her legs and says, “I wanted you yesterday, and the day before that. I’ll still want you tomorrow. Is that good enough?”

  I stare at her. She wanted me? I blink, but the lust won’t clear from my eyes. “You wanted me?”

  She nods. “Always.”

  That’s all I need to hear. I kneel on the bed, straddling her hips and bend down. I press my lips to hers and she kisses me back.

  CHAPTER

  8

  HOLLY

  Ryan seems surprised, but I don’t know why. When I said I wanted him, that I’ve always wanted him, my heart nearly exploded. It was something that I thought I’d never admit. Ever. It was the darkest secret at the back of my brain that was held under lock and key, and I’d gone and blurted it out to Ryan.

  My heart pounds harder as he looks at me. That dark gaze sweeps over me, like he can’t believe what I said. Ryan’s eyes search my face and slowly he smiles. I mirror his expression. Suddenly, he’s kneeling on the bed and his leg swings over my hips. My breath catches in my throat. I’ve wanted him for so long. Am I really going to do this? There’s no going back, and I don’t want to go back. As Mandy said, this is the path. The only way to know where it ends is to follow it.

  Ryan straddles my hips. He’s still wearing his jeans and tee shirt, but he shucked his shoes. He bends down and presses his lips to mine. I close my eyes and fall into the kiss, losing myself in his lips. They are so full and soft. He presses against me and I open my mouth. His tongue sweeps in and we pick up where we left off. My hands find his hair and pull as the kisses grow hotter. The floor of my stomach is in a free fall. I clutch his shirt and pull. Ryan sits up for half a beat and lets me pull the shirt over his head. When Ryan lays back down, he pulls me into his arms and presses me against his chest. He’s so warm and smells so good. I have to touch him. The tips of my fingers trace his back lightly at first, trailing over his hot skin, until my hand hits the waist of his jeans. I tug at them, wanting them off.

  He groans and reaches for my hands. Taking my wrists, Ryan pins them above my head and holds them there. Looking into my eyes he says, “Slow down. Let me kiss you, let me taste you. I want to learn every inch of your body, every curve.”

  I gasp, and tilt my hips up into his. The way he pins my hands above my head forces my boobs out. Ryan pins my wrists with one hand, while the other finds my breast and cups it. He moves his thumb agonizingly slow over my nipple, making them tighten in response. I make a startled noise and he kisses my lips lightly, still holding my breast in his hand. His thumb moves in slow circles, teasing me beneath the bra. The black lace is sheer and I can feel the heat of his hand on me. I arch my back, pushing into his palm. Ryan holds onto my wrists and teases me, and then moves to the mound of sensitive flesh on my other side. His lips nip and tug at the fabric until my vision starts to get hazy at the edges.

  I say his name and he releases me. Ryan sits up and moves to the side. He pulls me up and reaches around to undo the zipper on my dress. He pulls it up over my head and I fall back onto the bed.

  Ryan sits above me, looking down at me, his hungry eyes roving my body like he intends to ravage me. My pulse pounds harder and I feel something hot building in my core. I breathe in deeply, and rest a hand on my chest. I part my legs for him. His dark eyes watch my thighs move apart. I feel like I’ve been running too hard, too fast. My heart slams into my ribs as Ryan looks at me like that.

  I know his hands will be on my body again in seconds. I know they’ll slip between my thighs and he’ll finally touch me. I shiver, waiting, longing for his touch. When he lays down next to me, I can feel his bare chest press into my arm. His lifts his hand and touches my stomach, trailing his finger across my belly. I breathe in hard and hold it. Ryan does it again and again, each time trailing his finger from the center of my body to someplace else. When his hands slip south, I lift my hips to him, but he stops. Pushing himself up onto his elbow, Ryan resumes his exploration, and his hand dips beneath my panties. He moves slowly, watching my eyes as he does it.

  I take his wrist in my hand and hold him still. I want this, I want him. Slowly, I watch his eyes as I place his fingers between my legs. He breathes deeply, watching me. I press Ryan’s hand and feel his fingers pet me. The motion is slow and filled with heat. I press my hips into his hand as he moves over me once, and then twice. I watch his face as he moves again, this time slipping his finger into me. I moan and tilt my hips up into his hand. He can feel how much I want him, there’s no way to hide how wet I am. Ryan watches me as I close my eyes and I feel his fingers move inside of me. He builds a rhythm and I sway my hips as he does it.

  Every inch of me is raging with lust. I want him so badly. My clothes feel restrictive. My nipples ache against the fabric. I want him to strip me, and slide his body against mine. I want him like I’ve never wanted anyone. I cry out, frustrated and lusty beyond reason. I pull his lips down on my mouth as he strokes me again. He keeps his hand there, between my legs, as our kiss deepens and grows hotter and more desperate. Ryan’s other hand reaches around and pulls me to him. It slips over my hip and down to my butt. He squeezes me and pulls my body to him, forcing me into his stroking fingers between my thighs. I gasp and throw my head back. Electricity shoots through me. I can’t stay still. I writhe against his hand and he lets me. His eyes are dark as he watches me.

  Eventually, I moan his name and manage to still myself. Breathing hard I beg him, “Strip me. Please.”

  Ryan smiles at me. He pulls his hand from between my legs and I make a noise, biting my lip to keep from asking for all sorts of things that will make me mortified in the morning. His hands find the clasp on my bra and it opens. My breasts are so full and sensitive that when he removes my bra, I moan.

  Sitting up, I arch my back and throw my hands behind my head. My nipples are in front of his face. Ryan’s warm hands slide across both of them as he leans in and kisses my
mouth gently. Then, his head dips to my chest. He kisses me softly, his lips sucking gently on my nipple, making it harder. I respond to his touch, to his kiss. I breathe harder and feel the delicious sensations course through my body, building in my core.

  After a moment, Ryan pulls me onto his lap. He’s still wearing jeans, but I can feel his hard length through the fabric. It presses between my legs as I straddle him. I rock my hips, as his lips find my other breast. I can’t help it. Ryan’s hands wrap around my bare back. He lowers his head, and kisses me, his lips teasing my nipple. Every time he pulls me into his mouth, it makes me grow wetter. I feel my body growing hotter from his touch, from his kiss. I rub my hips against him, but it’s not enough. I need him. I want him inside of me.

  As if he could read my mind, Ryan throws me back on the bed. In matter of seconds, I’m totally naked. His eyes rove my body, followed by his hands, and then his lips. He teases me, trailing kisses down my body and stopping at my thighs. I tangle my hands in his hair, thinking he doesn’t want to do that, when he presses my thighs open and buries his face inside. I gasp as his tongue licks my sensitive flesh, sucking and pulling at my nub until I’m a lust-filed lunatic, begging him to be with me.

  Ryan lifts his face from between my legs and looks up at me. I feel his naked body press into my hip, hard and ready. I make a sound in the back of my throat. God, I want him. I want him inside of me. I want to feel him rock me into ecstasy. He kisses my cheek, and then my lips. Ryan pushes his tongue into my mouth and I kiss him back. My hands find his back and pull him down on top of me. He gasps and nuzzles his nose next to my ear, kissing my neck.

  I part my legs and feel his hard length press against me. I try to move my hips, but Ryan won’t let me. I want to feel him inside of me. “Please,” I breathe between kisses.

  Ryan looks at my eyes and reaches for his bedside table, tearing open a condom wrapper. I have no idea when he took off his pants and I don’t care. He puts the protection on and is on top of me. Before I can blink, I feel his hands on my face and his dick is pressing against me. I tilt my hips up and he lets me this time.

  Ryan’s lips press urgently against mine as I start to rock against him. I moan into his mouth, as he slips inside of me. I feel Ryan respond, his body tenses and every muscle in his chest becomes ultra-defined. Ryan lifts up off the bed enough to see my face. He watches as he slides into me, slowly, torturing me. I grab hold of his hips and wrap my legs around him. I change the speed, I change the way we rock and things go blurry. I lay back with my head against his pillow as Ryan pushes into me harder and deeper.

  My entire body is building, tingling, warming. I climb higher with each thrust, wanting more, begging for more. My nails find his back and I’m lost. I cry out his name, slamming my hips into his over and over again until I shatter in his arms. Ryan dips his head and kisses me softly.

  I feel perfect. Nothing could ruin this. My body feels light and fluffy, like I’m floating slowly back down to earth. Before I can totally return, Ryan’s lips are on my neck. I moan, pulling him closer, and tangle my fingers in his hair and smile, because I know he wants to do it again.

  CHAPTER

  9

  RYAN

  It’s nearly morning. Holly is asleep in my arms. She lays against my chest, snuggling her naked body against mine. I have no self-control. I shouldn’t have let last night happen, but I don’t regret it. I just hope she feels the same way when she wakes up.

  I can’t stand the thought of her leaving. It makes me feel hollow, like I’ll shatter without her.

  Holly moves in my arms. I watch her sleep, and brush my hand against her cheek. She smiles, as if she’s awake enough to enjoy the touch. I watch her for a moment and her eyes flutter open. She blinks slowly until I come into focus. My heart pounds. I want her to have no regrets. I want her to be happy.

  “Hey,” I say softly.

  She looks confused. Damn. I wait for it to come back to her, for her to realize that she’s naked, and what we’ve done. My eyes meet hers and she squirms a little and then smiles. Her cheeks burn bright red and I want to kiss every inch of her.

  “Hey,” she says back. I can’t get a read on her.

  “It’s not morning, yet. You can go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  She looks up at me with those brown eyes and I melt. I’ll do anything she asks me to. She smiles, “You didn’t. I thought I was dreaming, but…”

  The corner of my lips pulls up. “But you weren’t?” She shakes her head gently. My eyes meet hers and I can’t look away. I’m terrified she’ll run, that she’ll regret this. Holly looks back at me with questions in her eyes. I press my lips together, and then ask. “Would you rather this was a dream?” There, I said it. I wait for an answer, prepared to steel myself for whatever she says. I expect her to say yes. That this wasn’t what she wanted.

  Holly’s eyes search my face and her eyebrows lift slightly. Her lips pull into a ghost of a smile that makes me want to kiss her more. “That depends.”

  “On what?”

  “On you.” She blinks at me and pushes up onto her side. Her breasts brush my chest as she does it. Holly pulls the sheet up to cover her body, clutching it loosely.

  “On me?” I ask, and I sit up. The sheet barely covers my hips. I shift trying to hide how attractive I think she is. When she brushed against me, my body responded. I can’t help it. I feel like a fifteen year old. I think of turn-offs to try and correct the issue, but it doesn’t really work. I pull the blanket up. Maybe she doesn’t notice. Her tangled hair falls over her shoulders. The sheet is barely covering her. I want to rip it away and kiss her.

  Holly nods, “You were laying awake with an oh-god-what-have-done look on your face. I saw it. So, would you rather this was a dream?” I feel her shaking, but I’m not sure why. I’m silent too long. I don’t know what she means or what to say that won’t make me sound like a love-sick stalker. Holly’s shoulders slump and her head falls. She blinks hard. “I see.” She pulls away from me and stands, taking the sheet with her.

  “Holly, no, wait.” I lift a hand trying to pull her back into bed, but she’s dropped the sheet and is dressing. I fucked up. I can’t fix this. She’s mad. I see it in her back, the way she’s squared her shoulders. She turns quickly, her eyes are flashing an emotion that’s close to exploding. It might be rage. It might be sorrow. Why do those look the same? I’ve been here before. I’ve done this. It’s not a good spot to be. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I try again, but she’s lost patience with me.

  Holly pulls her boots on, not bothering with the stockings. “There’s no reason to say anything. I get it.” Her voice is steady and a lot more even than it should be. She stands and looks at me.

  “You don’t,” I breathe. Her eyes look over me. I pulled on my jeans so she wouldn’t dump my ass while I was naked. I want her to understand, but I don’t understand. I don’t know how she does this to me, how she makes me feel everything. I waited years and never expected to do what we did last night. Talk, you moron! “This was a dream, but I don’t want to leave it there. It’s something I’ve thought about before. I just never thought it would happen.”

  She folds her arms over her chest. Holly looks pissed. “But it did. So now what? Back to the status quo?” She shakes her head and turns away. “I can’t do that. I sucked at it before. I’m sorry, Ryan, but this was a mistake.” She darts to the door and is gone.

  I don’t reply. I don’t chase her and say she’s wrong. I let her leave, taking my heart with her.

  CHAPTER

  10

  HOLLY

  I race to my car without looking back. I don’t know how things got this way. I replay last night in my mind, but it only brings tears to my eyes. I thought Ryan felt something. I thought I was more than a fling. Yanking open my car door, I fall onto the seat and start the car. I blink over and over again, trying to see, but once the tears start, they don’t stop. I lower my head and put it on the steeri
ng wheel. I don’t know what I expected from him, but this seems close. So, why am I crying? I knew going into this last night that Ryan wasn’t a forever kind of guy. Hell, I’m not even his type. The idea that I was a pity bang flashes in my mind and my tears turn to big, wet, ugly sobs.

  I stay like that for a minute or five, I’m not sure, but the engine is still cold and I’m covered in goose bumps when there is a knock on my window. I startle and sit up. Ryan’s standing there. I lock my jaw to keep from crying. The tears dry up, but my face is still wet. I grab the gear shifter and throw the car in reverse, ready to lift my foot from the brake and floor it.

  “Holly, please.” Ryan’s voice is muffled through the window, but I hear it. I hear something fragile there too. Even in all my distress, I hear the way his voice warbles slightly when he says my name. Again, he says, “Please.”

  How do I want things to be? The thought flashes in my mind before I act. The only thing I know for certain is that I don’t want things to end like this. I throw the car back into park and press my finger to the window button. It screeches as it slides down at a god-awful pace.

  It’s barely opened a crack when Ryan grumbles something and reaches for my door. He yanks it open and pulls me out of the car carefully, gently. It’s not like his desperate movement in the elevator last night. His touch is firm, but gentle, like he knows he’ll never touch me again. Then, Ryan takes both sides of my damp face in his palms and says, “I need to tell you something and I suck at this. It scares me to death.” He breaths like he’s been running, like he put on clothes and chased after me. His blue gaze lowers and he speaks to me through his lashes, like he can’t bear to say the words. “I wouldn’t trade last night for anything. I’m glad it was real, that it really happened. I’ve wanted you for so long, but it never worked out. Then last night came and I saw you there. It was like I had a second chance and I didn’t want to lose you again, even if it tore me apart, even if you didn’t feel the same way about me.” His eyes flick up. He swallows hard and says, “Holly, I just want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.” His hands slip off my cheeks and I stand there, half frozen, with my jaw hanging open. Did he really say that?