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  Before he asked his question, the door was thrown open and Seth walked in. “What the hell are you doing in here?” Seth blurted out. As an afterthought, he turned to me and said, “Hey Virgin.” That was the genius nickname he gave me.

  I stared at him without answering, irritated that he’d shown up. Someone always showed up. Just when things with Trystan seemed real, one of his friends walked in. The Trystan I got a glimpse of immediately vanished like smoke in the wind.

  Glaring at Seth, I thought, Go away. Go away. Go away. Seth can’t read minds. He barely has one, but Trystan seemed equally annoyed that he walked in.

  It was too quiet. It‘s like we were talking about something that we shouldn’t have been, and when Seth walked in all conversation stopped. My skin prickled like this was an omen. I repressed the urge to shiver and smoothed my hands over my arms.

  Something was off. The way Trystan’s shoulders slumped, like he physically deflated when he saw Seth made me wonder why. It was a tiny movement, one that Seth failed to notice, but I did. Trystan straightened quickly and that smile he always wore spread across his mouth.

  “Dude, did you really flash the entire auditorium with Brie Parker’s panties?” Seth asked, grinning, practically vibrating with excitement.

  Trystan let out a huff of air and ran his fingers through his hair, “Crap. Is that what they’re saying? She’s going to kill me.”

  Seth laughed, “What’d you do man? Because I really liked the locker room version. It had Brie bending over and—”

  I cut him off, “Trystan bent her back for a kiss and then dropped her on the floor. By the way, you’re disgusting.” I folded my arms across my chest. Maybe I hated Brie, but I didn’t want to hear what Seth was going to say. It made my skin crawl. Sex was a game to guys like him, and I didn’t want to hear about it.

  Seth’s smile faded. His voice was hard, “Why are you always here? Every time I go looking for Trystan lately, there you are—sitting right next to him. You got a crush on him or something? Hoping for a pity bang?”

  Mortification choked me. For a moment all I could do was blink. Trystan sat, shoulders slumped, on top of desk until Seth said that. Suddenly, he sat upright. His tone warning, “Seth.”

  When I found my voice I said, “Hanging out with him would suck way less if you weren’t around.”

  Seth laughed, “Funny. I was telling Trystan the same thing.” He shook his head like I wasn’t worth his time. Then he turned to his friend, “Come on, man. Let’s get out of here. There’s a set of twins working the 7-Eleven and they both have double Ds on the rack.” He laughed like he was hysterical.

  Trystan smirked, but shook his head. “Can’t. Tucker has us in lock down.”

  “So that’s why you’re with her? Tucker’s punishing you by strapping you to a boring chick?” Seth glanced at me while he spoke. His brows pinched together when he looked back up at Trystan.

  “Something like that,” Trystan replied. “Either way, if I leave this room, I don’t graduate. And if you stay here and Tucker sees you, I suspect you’ll be joining us. A week’s in school detention, Tucker style.”

  Seth’s face fell. “You mean—?”

  “No free periods, no lunch, no after school nothing. For the next week I’m in here every day. Better run before he adds your name to the list.”

  Seth turned toward the door, ready to leave, but he still didn’t seem to believe Trystan. Before pulling the door open, he stopped and asked over his shoulder, “What about the virgin? Did she piss Tucker off too?”

  Before I could answer, Trystan slid off the desk. Walking toward his friend, he nodded and said, “As a matter of fact, yeah, she did. Get the hell out of here before he sees you. And if you head back this way before practice is over, sneak us some snacks.”

  “What makes you think I’m going without you?” Seth asked. He huffed like a little boy that was told he couldn’t have more cookies.

  “Please. Double Ds on twins. You’re going to be there for the rest of the afternoon,” Trystan slapped his friend on the shoulder and pushed him through the door.

  Before Seth was gone, he hissed, “Don’t do it. For god’s sake, don’t fucking do it.” They stared at each other. Apparently Seth knew Trystan better than he let on. The two looked like they were having a showdown. I couldn’t tell who won, but eventually, Trystan lowered his gaze and gave a nod before shoving Seth out the door. When he pushed the door closed, Trystan stood there with his back to me for a moment. He didn’t turn around. He didn’t speak.

  Pressing my lips together, I slid off the desk and walked over to him. “What’d you want to tell me? About the song?”

  Trystan turned. His plastic smile was firmly in place, his lighthearted nature on full display. It was disarming, but I knew exactly what he was doing. “It was nothing. Just curious if you heard it, that’s all.” He looked me in the eye as he lied to my face.

  CHAPTER 16

  ~TRYSTAN~

  Damn, he lied to her. Trystan didn’t want things like this. He sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair.

  “What’s with you lately? One second your all intense and the next you’re all smiles.” Mari asked.

  Trystan looked up at her, his eyes drinking in her face. What if Seth was wrong? What if Mari liked him? That look said she cared, but he didn’t know what to do. Heart pounding, he said, “It’s her. The girl. I feel lost, Mari. I can’t take it much longer.”

  She was quiet for a moment. Mari watched him sitting on the desk. The smile fell off his lips as Trystan leaned forward, putting all his weight on his hands, and stared at the floor. His voice sounded strained.

  “Then tell her,” she urged.

  Trystan glanced up at her from under his brow. The way she looked at him made him think he should. That if he said it, she would believe him. But Seth’s words rang through his mind. The image of the bullet being fired from the gun, and the inability to take it back. Once he said it, there was no going back.

  Silence filled the room. Mari finally said, “What do you have to lose? It’s not like you’re friends. It’s not like you’d be risking one relationship for the other, so—” The way he looked at her when she spoke made the floor of her stomach fall. She stopped midsentence. “You already know her, don’t you?”

  “She’s one of my best friends,” he answered softly. “I doubt she even realizes it.”

  Mari’s brown gaze was hypnotic. Trystan couldn’t look away even though it pulled him in deeper. The feeling in his stomach, the alluring pull that made him reckless urged him to say it, but Trystan kept his jaw locked. She had to figure it out on her own. That’s the only way she’ll believe me, he thought.

  But Mari didn’t say anything. She remained lost in Trystan’s gaze, her dark curls dangling over her shoulders as she sat on the desk across from him. It felt like time stopped. Trystan didn’t want to blink. He wanted to remember this moment, everything about it. The way her perfectly pink lips were slightly parted, the way she leaned toward him like she knew, and the way her eyes locked with his—he could feel the connection with her in his core. It tugged at him at first, calling him back to her. But now it assaulted him day and night. There was nothing without Mari.

  Pulse pounding in his ears, Trystan didn’t notice Tucker until the door scraped open. Trystan quickly looked away, breaking the connection. The stirring in his stomach faded and it felt like he lost part of himself.

  “Off,” Tucker snapped at Trystan.

  Trystan slid off the teacher’s desk and walked around to sit a row over and behind Mari. She watched him pass, but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking, if she knew he was talking about her.

  “You two are pushing your luck. You are aware of that, right?” Tucker said looking at each of them.

  “I didn’t do anything to Brie,” Mari said, but Tucker held up his hand and she stopped speaking.

  “Your job, Jennings, is to get them out onto the stage at the right time.”

&
nbsp; “She did it on purpose,” Mari muttered.

  “So was Trystan’s little stunt.” He looked back at Trystan. “That little stunt should have been a suspension, Scott.”

  “There’s no way to prove it was intentional,” Trystan replied dryly. “She punched me in the head and I dropped her. Could have happened to anyone.”

  “That kind of crap doesn’t happen to guys like you,” Tucker replied. Beads of sweat lined his face, “Enough of this. Whatever is going on with you Scott has to stop. Get back on stage and do it right this time.” Trystan slid off the desk and walked out the door.

  As he left the classroom he could hear Mari defending herself, but he knew Tucker wouldn’t listen. Brie had him wrapped around her little finger.

  CHAPTER 17

  ~MARI~

  I left practice early, since Tucker said he couldn’t stand the sight of me. The only reason he called Trystan back was because he was needed or they couldn’t practice. As I left the building Katie caught up with me.

  “Hey, why are you leaving early?” she ran up next to me, smiling, happy to have someone to walk home with.

  “Tucker tossed me.” Before she could ask, I added, “Brie set me up, Tucker made an example. My life sucks. What else is new?”

  “That was harsh. He threw you out?”

  I nodded, “Yeah. Why are you still here?”

  She grinned, “Math help. I needed a tutor.”

  “Jack King is the teacher’s aide at the extra help session again, isn’t he?”

  “Yes, and I seriously need extra help when I’m around him.” She fanned herself, and laughed, “He’s so hot that I can’t think. Oh, and his cologne. Damn, when he’s standing over my shoulder... Well, you know.”

  “You’re horrible, you know that?” I laughed as I said it.

  Katie said, “So what’s up? You avoid Trystan all day like I said?” I didn’t answer. “Mari! What’d you do?”

  “Nothing,” I replied not wanting to talk about it. The truth was I had no idea what happened. One moment Trystan was going to tell me something about Day Jones, the next he says he’s having girl issues. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought he was talking about me. But that’s impossible. I pushed aside the thought. It was a little too close to a dream to even consider. Things that raised my hope, that teeter on the edge of impossibility, only hurt harder when you smack face-first into the ground.

  Katie stopped walking. We were standing in front of the school where the buses drop off. There wasn’t anyone else around. “Stop letting him screw with your head. The guy’s a player Mari. Look at his best friend for chrissakes. Seth Sexbot.” She shook her head, her eyebrows rising with her voice.

  “He’s not like that,” the words slipped out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying.

  Katie grabbed both my shoulders and shook me, “Do you hear yourself? He’s not like that? Is there anyone in that entire group of theater girls that he hasn’t nailed?”

  “Me,” I said softly.

  “Exactly,” she said forcefully. Katie had always been like a sister to me. She said what I needed to hear, which wasn’t always what I wanted to hear. This time, I definitely did not want to hear it. It was like she could tell. Her hands flew as she spoke, “Wake up Mari. He’s not that kind of guy. You’re the only one. Get a clue. If he’s paying attention to you, now you know why. Seth and him aren’t that different, it just looks different for the girl. Trystan’s seduction is more tempting, but in the end you’re just another chick to check off the list.” Her words smashed into me. I didn’t want to hear them. It felt like she was throwing bricks at my stomach. I wanted to double over and cry. Katie wrapped her arm around my shoulders. I didn’t shirk her off. Softly, she said, “He’ll hurt you.” The quiver in her voice was like being doused by cold water.

  My first boyfriend hurt me. He was the only one I was serious about and Katie knew it. Trystan was not a step up. If anything, he was a step down and backwards. He’d hurt me. In the end, he would. It’s the way he was. Katie was right. I’d seen it over and over again.

  Sitting next to him in the prop room I’d asked him once, “Why is your life expectancy on relationships so short? They don’t die that fast, you know. There’s more there than sex.”

  He’d looked at me with those glittering blue eyes. A wicked grin lined his lips. “Not that I’ve seen.”

  “You haven’t stayed long enough to find out.” His answer had upset me. As if he could tell, he looked around to make sure no one saw.

  When he leaned in close to my ear he said, “I haven’t found anyone worth staying for.”

  “That’s because you’re dating the skank squad, Trystan.” I rolled my eyes as I said it.

  “And you’d be different?” he said amused. “How?”

  I didn’t answer him that day. I dated with my whole heart and there was no way I was giving it to someone who would tear it out of my chest without a backward glance. Katie thought Trystan was that person.

  I nodded at Katie, “I know you’re right. I’m just having trouble getting my head and my heart in the same place.”

  Katie slid her arm down and side hugged me, practically squeezing me to death. “Ah, I know how to fix that. Your heart is easily confused. Let’s toss some chocolate at it and next time you get a free period, come and drool at Mathboy with me.”

  “Deal,” I said, not bothering to explain that it wouldn’t be for a week. If she knew I was stuck with Trystan for several additional hours every day, she’d insist that I transfer to a new school. Maybe it was inevitable. Maybe Trystan was destined to break my heart. I didn’t want to find out.

  CHAPTER 18

  ~TRYSTAN~

  Trystan slipped away from practice as soon as humanly possible. There was no food at home. He’d have to run into the deli and hope Sam was still there.

  The door chimed as he walked inside the small shop. The deli wasn’t big, but the owner was great. Trystan called out, “Sam? You here?”

  A small man with dark skin walked out of the back room, “Trystan Scott. What can I do for you?”

  “Can we barter this week?”

  Sam walked up to the counter and looked at Trystan. He knew the kid was on his own and had been for some time. Whatever so-called parent was supposed to be taking care of him deserved a punch in the face. Trystan was a good kid. “Sure, grab whatever you need and set it up here.”

  Trystan went through the shop grabbing what he needed, checking dates, and trying to pick up things that had been reduced. When he was done, there were two bags filled with food. Sam tallied the items as he put them in. “Not bad. Only $45. You can work that off in one day.”

  Trystan had done the math in his head as he picked up the items. “No charity, Sam. You shaved off nine bucks.”

  Sam’s face reddened a little. He looked down at his pad and said, “It’s not charity. I was going to throw those things out.”

  “We do this every couple weeks, Sam. I try to get as little as possible and you always forget to add something in. Come on, I don’t want a hand out. I’m good for it. I’ll work Saturday and Sunday, the 5:00am shift. I’ll see you then.” Trystan reached for the bags.

  Sam pushed the groceries toward the young man. “You’re a good kid. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

  Trystan smiled at the old guy. It was a lopsided grin, filled with pride. Sam was one of the few people who could evoke that emotion. Trystan nodded and headed out the door.

  When he arrived home, he swallowed hard. His dad was home. The lights were blazing in the windows, the sound of the television wafted out the front door.

  Trystan pulled opened the rusted screen, balancing the paper bag on his hip. Nights like this made him what he was—an actor, a liar. His dad was a thin man well past his prime. He sat in a tee shirt and shorts in front of the TV with a beer can in his hand. It was still early. He’d move onto the hard stuff later.

  “Where the hell have you been?” Dad
grumbled not bothering to look at his son.

  “School. Then I stopped at the store for some food. I got some of that pasta you like. I thought I’d make it for us for dinner.” It felt like he was walking on egg shells. Dad worked to pay the bills, but he didn’t bother buying food or cooking. Trystan learned how to use the stove before most kids could tie their shoes.

  Dad scoffed, “You expect me to believe that?” Trystan didn’t bother pointing to the grocery bags. He knew it was pointless. “I’m talking to you, boy. When are you going to stop lying to me?”

  Trystan stepped in front of his father, blocking his view of the TV. One grocery bag was clutched in each arm. “I’m not lying.”

  “Then what the hell is this?” his dad asked, holding up a guitar. Trystan’s heart clenched. For a second all he could do was stare. He’d hidden it, locked it in his room. “Yeah, I thought so. My son’s a fag, singing fairy songs around a campfire. Perfect.”

  Trystan saved his money forever to get that instrument. It was an acoustic guitar with honey wood. It came from a second-hand shop, but it still cost more than he had. He saved his money for months to get it. Since then it’d been hidden in his room at the top of his closet. He’d put enough stuff around it to block it from view. But that didn’t matter since it was sitting on his father’s lap.

  Trystan tried smiling. Ignoring the comments, he walked to the kitchen counter and placed the groceries down. Part of him hoped the guitar would be forgotten, but his dad kept it clutched on his lap. Trystan made dinner. It was a generic Hamburger Helper without the meat. He walked a plate of it over to his dad. Last time they’d eaten it, he liked it a lot. This time was different. Trystan would never forget this time.

  When he reached out to hand Dad his plate, the old man swatted at it. “I’m not eating that shit. You stole it. Like you stole this!” Dad shot out of his chair. Trystan watched the plate go flying, the noodles stuck to the wall before they slid down leaving a rust colored stain in their wake.