Secrets and Lies 7 (The Ferro Family) (Secrets & Lies) Read online

“Yes, you’re wrong. There’s nothing more to see. Move along.”

  His lips are next to my ear when he speaks, “There’s always more to you—more to see, more to taste and touch, more laughter and more smiles.” His finger touches the tip of my nose lightly, and my heart beats faster in response.

  “There’s nothing else.”

  “There is.” He lifts his hand to my cheek, stroking it gently along my skin and making me shiver. “You have more talent in one finger than most people have in their entire body. You tap into it, try it on, and you don’t let fear keep you from it.”

  I honk out a laugh. “Me? Not afraid? Guess again.”

  His face is above mine, looking down, watching me as his body presses me to the wall. The weight of him is perfect, and, if I can avoid his eyes, I won’t give in. I won’t think about his lips on mine. I won’t remember the way he kisses me, using his entire body, like I’m air, and he’ll never have enough of me. “That’s what makes you incredible. You might feel fear, but it doesn’t stop you. You keep going. You keep trying. It’s breathtaking to watch. It’s impossible to be around you and not get caught up in you—every woman in the room wants to be you, every man desires you. They all marvel at your talent. They're all shocked by the innate way they appear to be one with you.”

  Stare at his shirt. Don’t look up past the buttons. Don’t lift your eyes above his collar. Keep your chin down and push him away. Say you don’t want him. You’re going to rip his heart out soon. The longer this goes on, the worse it will be for him—the worse it will be for you. But I can’t ignore the magnetic pull toward him. I’m close to shaking, trying to stay there without moving, without touching him. As my head tips back and I catch his eye, Nate slips his hand along the side of my face and around the back of my neck. His dark lashes lower and his eyes dip between my lips and my eyes.

  “Kiss me, Kerry.”

  “We shouldn’t.”

  “Kiss me,” his voice is a whisper, but the way he says it feels like a command. He lingers there, so close to me, his lips parted, breathing so close I can feel the heat of his breath on my skin.

  Heart hammering, I lean in closer and feel my eyelashes lower. It’s just a kiss. It won’t turn into more. I can say no. I can walk away. The thing is, I don’t want to walk away from him. I don’t want to leave him, and that’s the problem. Thoughts of his slick body tangled beneath mine flash behind my eyes. I want him too much. I can already taste his kiss and feel his hands cupping me, holding me, and pressing inside of me.

  Nate doesn’t move. He won’t start it. Every time he tells me to kiss him I do. He’ll wait patiently for me to make the first move. I tuck my chin, press my lips together, and inhale deeply, releasing the breath slowly. It forces my breasts to crush against his chest, and I nearly choke.

  I’m about to tell him no, that this can’t be, but I don’t get the chance. His hands are in my hair, and he cups my face, tipping my head back, and treating me to his warm, delicious mouth on mine. His tongue sweeps past the seam of my lips. He kisses me slowly, deeply, taking his time. When he slows, he holds my cheeks and stays there, a whisper away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

  “To kiss me?”

  He smiles, releases me, and steps back. “No, I meant to do that. I just didn’t want to pressure you.” He watches me closely, his blue gaze sinking into mine. “Why do you shy away from slower kisses?”

  His question startles me. “What? I do not.”

  “Yes, you do. You fuck fast and hard. You kiss fast and hard, too. It’s almost like—” He stops talking and presses his mouth shut, shaking his head.

  “Like what?”

  The corners of his mouth twitch like he can’t decide if he should smile or not. Those dimples flash and disappear over and over again. “Like it’s a defense mechanism. If we keep things fast and fun, there’s nothing to worry about. No one gets hurt.”

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Nothing. If that’s the only way I can have you, I’ll take it. But...”

  “But what?”

  He hesitates then drifts closer to me, whispering in my ear, “But if there were more, if you'd allow me, I’d learn every inch of your body and each curve of your face. I want to taste you, I want to lick you, and I want you to lie back and let me be with you—no walls, no running. Just you and me.”

  My chest rapidly rises and falls as he speaks. It feels like he has me by my neck while I’m dangling over a canyon. It’s terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

  “My walls haven’t been up with you,” I protest.

  “They’re not totally down either, though. Aren't you curious? Don’t you wonder what it would be like if they were?”

  I stiffen, thinking about it. It would be wonderful and exhilarating. It’s insane and reckless—like tossing the condom. He wants to taste me, to do things we haven’t done yet. I’ve not made love to him, and it sounds like that’s what he wants. We fucked, we played hard, we had fun, but now he wants more.

  Part of me wants to take it and run. Is it possible to be with him like that, knowing it will all be over in a few short days? Forever isn’t real. Matt taught me that. Mom cemented the concept in my mind. All we have is today, right now. So, why not? Giving my body to him will be easy. It’s my heart that’s having issues. But that’s what he’s asking for—me, totally pliant, unguarded.

  When I fail to answer, Nate’s expression darkens. “When you change your mind, you know where to find me.” He turns and walks away, leaving me behind with a gaping mouth.

  CHAPTER 4

  Did he seriously just say that? I want to fight with him, but I shouldn’t walk away from the painting. Hastily, I pack up my stuff and leave the canvas out on the easel to dry. I drag my palm over the light switches and the room floods with darkness. I pull the door shut and stride down the hallway to Nate’s office, planning on getting up in his face. I have a million things to say. My body is supercharged and buzzing. He gets under my skin, and it’s bad enough that I can’t stop thinking about him.

  When I get to his office, the door is shut, and there’s no light spilling beneath the crack under the door. He’s gone home for the night. Damn it. I sigh, annoyed, not wanting to go home. Actually, I don’t know what I want. I’m hot and bothered, but Nate is getting too serious.

  I stare at his door and wonder if I should go looking for Josh. I like him and if I want him, does it matter what he’s done? Part of me thinks it’s stupid. The other part says Josh had his chance to abuse me but didn’t. He protected me instead. Sighing, I turn and lean my back against Nate’s door and start to slide down, planning to sit on my butt. The door isn’t latched, and, when I press my back against it, the door gives and swings open. I’m already off-kilter having planned to sit down. The result is embarrassing. I fall backward into Nate’s office, slamming the door into the wall and shaking the frames hung above my head as I fall on my ass. I can’t stop the momentum, continuing until I’m on my back, staring at the ceiling.

  “Bloody hell.”

  An amused voice cuts through the darkness. “Are you English now?”

  I don’t move. I just lie there, frowning. Fine, I’m pouting. What the hell is he doing sitting here in the dark? Two seconds later, Nate is standing over me, his head cocked to the side and a smile on those delicious lips. “Back so soon?”

  I glare at him and fold my arms over my chest. “You’re an arrogant asshole if you think I’m here because I can’t breathe without you. I’m never doing that again.”

  The smile fades from Nate’s face. “Not every guy is like him, you know.”

  “I don’t know that. I don’t know you, and I’m not getting my heart ripped out of my chest again.”

  “So why are you here?”

  “For the view, obviously. Your ceiling is sublime in this light.” I pause and glance up at him out of the corner of my eye. “Why are you sitting in the dark?”

  He sighs, running a hand down the bac
k of his neck and turning toward his desk. He strides over and plucks a paper from the top, then tosses it to me. The note lands on my face. I lift it and scan it to see what’s got him so upset.

  It’s a letter from the fracking company. I hold the letter over my face as I read and blurt out, “Holy shit! They offered you over half a million bucks!” I spin around on my butt and criss-cross my legs. I stare at the letter for a moment longer and then lift it up to him.

  Nate is leaning against his desk, his long legs crossed at the ankle, his hands resting on either side of his trim hips. “What would you do?”

  “With half a million dollars? I’d tell my family to fuck off and finish college. I could do whatever I wanted. That money is freedom.”

  He shakes his head. “That money is tainted.”

  “What do you mean?” I lower my hand when he doesn’t take the note and look at the paper.

  “It’s from fracking. They’re destroying the world and completely disregarding future generations. Only two states have banned it, but the damage it does is horrendous. Even if it didn’t crack apart the ground and create earthquakes, look at what happened in San Antonio. A machine failed, filling a neighborhood's streets with hydraulic fracking fluid. It’s poisonous, Kerry. I can’t look the other way. Accepting this money is like being part of it.” Frown lines crease his forehead as he turns away from me.

  “But you want to sell?” I’m not stupid. I owe Ferro a debt and Nate is in his crosshairs. I need to make sure he hands over that house.

  “I could use the money. I spent my savings on Dad's funeral and paying off the rest of his accounts. I have nothing.” He lifts his blue gaze and meets mine. “What would you do?”

  I swallow hard, caught between a debt and the truth. “I don’t know. I can’t tell you. I haven't been in your position.”

  He kicks the toe of his shoe against the carpet and folds his arms across his chest. “It’s a lot of money, more than I need.”

  I’m quiet, listening to him stumble around with his thoughts.

  “I have a job. Over time, I’ll be able to save up again.”

  “Yeah, but your house will be in the middle of a fracking zone.”

  “They can’t start drilling until I’m gone. The area has to be rezoned, and the city won’t do it if there’s still a resident in the area.”

  “Nate, do you really want to be the last man standing? Isn’t there another way to go up against them?”

  He frowns at me. “So you’re pro-fracking?”

  I scoff, “I’m not pro anything. I don’t like the idea of fracking. Dallas has had earthquakes because of it. I think it’s dangerous and wish the government would grow some balls and do what needs to be done, not just with this, but also with lots of other things. I honestly don't know what I’d do in your shoes.”

  Nate watches me for a moment but doesn’t move off the desk. I stand and step toward him, offering the letter back. He takes it from me and lays it on the desk behind him. When he turns back to me, he’s inches away. My fingers are burning, wanting to touch him. The desire to feel his skin under my palms rushes through me, making me hot.

  “I wish things were simpler.” The statement hangs in the air, and I know he’s not just talking about the offer.

  “Me, too.”

  His gaze locks on my eyes, and the intensity of his stare makes my stomach flip. I step back and clear my throat, managing to avoid his eyes. “I better get going.”

  “Going home?”

  I want to lie and say yes, that I’m going back to the dorm. I watch him carefully and shake my head. “No. I was going to find a friend.”

  Nate presses his lips into a thin line and nods. Bitterly he spits out the name, “Josh. You’re going to hook up with him.”

  I don’t correct him. I don't tell him I can’t do a thing with Josh because of Beth. I have no idea if I even want to, because when I’m around Nate, I don’t want anyone else. At the same time, that thought terrifies me. I can’t let someone get that close to me again. I won’t do it.

  Nate pushes off the desk and steps toward me, closing the distance between us. He dips his face, lowering it to mine. His breath washes over me as he asks gently, “Do you love him?”

  The question shocks me and knocks me off-kilter. I had no expression on my face until then, but I can’t suppress these emotions. They bubble up, painting my features with surprise. “No. Why would you even ask that?”

  “Because you talk about him frequently. It seems like you want to be with him, but there’s something in the way. Is it me?” His nose is by mine, his lips so close. I feel his gaze on my mouth before it flicks back up to my eyes.

  “It’s not you.”

  “Then what is it? Why can’t you be with him, Kerry? I mean if he’s what you want, why not go fuck him right now? Or was that your plan for this evening and falling into my office was an accident?”

  “Nate, cut it out.”

  “No, tell me. I want to know where I stand. Who else have you been with?”

  “I don’t have to tell you anything.”

  Nate wraps his fingers around my forearm and steps toward me at the same time. He uses his body to press me into the wall and drops his hand, tangling our fingers together. “No, you don’t have to tell me anything. I just wish you would. I wish you’d choose me. I wish you’d come to me instead of him.” He sighs deeply then steps away, freeing me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

  I stand there unable to speak.

  Nate’s back is to me, and I watch as he breathes in deeply and his back expands. He lets out the breath in a rush and shakes his head. “Good night, Kerry.” He walks over to the desk, grabs a set of keys, and heads for the door.

  At the last second, I step in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. His body lurches to a stop, nearly colliding with mine. “Don’t go.”

  He hesitates. I lift a hand and press my finger to the bare skin at the bottom of his collar, trailing the finger down his shirt so lightly I’m barely touching him.

  “Why should I stay?”

  “Because I came looking for you.” I lift my eyes and meet his.

  “What about him?”

  “I’m here with you, does he really matter?”

  Nate watches me, and I can tell he knows what will happen if he presses me about Josh. I leave the question dangling between us, unanswered. Nate wants to know if we’re exclusive, and I won’t tell him. I can’t tell him this is anything special or serious. Even if I wanted to, I’m too skittish to admit it.

  “No.” His voice is deep, and his tone is certain. Nate slips his hands around my waist and pulls me firmly against his body. “You’re mine right now. That’s all that matters.”

  The anguished expression on his face vanishes, erased by lust. His eyes darken as he dips his head to mine, and presses his lips to my mouth. A spark shoots through my body, and I’m wrapping my hands around his neck and moaning into his mouth before I can think. Nate pushes me back, swatting the door shut as he walks. It slams shut behind me.

  Nate’s body is firm, and I love the way he presses into me. His kisses are intoxicating and make my head feel light. My fearful thoughts of Ferro, bouncing around in my brain just minutes ago, are banished by my proximity to Nate. It’s just us, nothing else.

  His hands are on my face as his body pushes me against the wall, holding me still while his kiss deepens and turns hotter. His hands slip down my neck, and he leaves me gasping for air as he palms my breasts. When his hands suddenly dip to the small of my back and lower to grab my ass, Nate lowers his lips to my neck. Pressing my face to the side, he drags his mouth along my sensitive skin, licking and sucking me while pulling my hips toward his. I feel him there, hard and ready. He wants me and I, sure as hell, want him.

  The way he makes me feel is indescribable. My head is light, and my heart is full. My back arches into him, and I wish we were wearing fewer clothes. It’s as if he’s inside my mind, because Nate pulls back
suddenly and reaches for the hem of my shirt. He pulls it off, unhooks my bra, and shucks the rest of my clothing quickly so I’m completely exposed. Nate steps back and admires me, pacing around me in a slow circle like he’s trying to decide what he wants to do next.

  My chest rises and falls, every inch of my skin tingling with anticipation. Is it wrong to love being naked in front of this man? I love the way his eyes caress my body, the way his lips part and he licks his teeth as he watches me. His fingers flex by his sides, and I know he wants to fuck me fast and hard. It’s what I want, but for a fleeting moment, I wonder what Nate would be like with soft kisses and lingering touches. The thought makes me so high I don’t think anything more is possible, but he’s certain there’s more than this. Either way, I’m not ready for it. Not tonight.

  Nate reaches for me, pulling my back to his front. He grips my breast with one hand while holding me against him with the other. His arm is draped across my neck as his lips rest in the soft spot where my shoulder meets my neck. I suck in sharply and try to pull away from him, but Nate pins me in place. Sensations shoot through my body instantly overloading me.

  Heart pounding hard, I cry out softly, but he doesn’t stop. The rush increases until my mind is blank and all my thoughts focus on getting Nate inside of me, pressing into me, and fucking me hard. A ribbon uncurls deep inside of me, and it’s warm and delicious. It pours warmth into my entire body, making my breasts and the V at the top of my legs throb.

  Nate steps forward and pushes me toward his desk. His hand is on my back, and he forces me down, face-first, tangling his hand in the hair at the base of my neck. I hear a zipper, and then he’s there, pressing against me, promising ecstasy.

  I wriggle my hips against him, but Nate doesn’t move. He holds a hand on each side of my hips and tells me, “Beg for it, Kerry.”

  I refuse, biting my lower lip as I grind against him, but Nate won’t move. He’s so close, and it’s such a tease to have him there, right outside, pressing against me without pushing inside. Nate slides his length along my lower lips slowly, making me gasp and buck against him.